“A Quiet Place” Review: John Krasinski’s Horror Movie Didn’t Actually Suck

Score: 3.5/5 skulls The Spoiler-Free Review We as humans take sound for granted. I realized that as John Krasinki's mostly silent survival saga played out in an abnormally obnoxious cinema. The thick Yorker accent of the Gandalfian imbecile trying to find his seat number in the dark pulled me out of the film's opening drug... Continue Reading →


The Ballad of Ari: Book 1; Chapter 1: “Destiny”

CHAPTER 1 “Destiny” ARI Ari could not break her gaze from the sky. The sky meant a new day, far away from the miasma of pig shit. The sky meant hope. Ari caught herself staring at it often, seeing buffalo, caterpillars or sometimes even the faces of men form in the clouds. They birthed and... Continue Reading →

U2 – “Songs of Experience”

2/5 Stars Is it possible to stay artistically relevant for the better part of forty years? Today, we have our answer, and the answer is that an act either dies or lives long enough to see itself become U2. We waited an extra year for this? To be fair, the urgency and sincerity in Bono's... Continue Reading →

How the Truth Killed the Heroes

Many years ago now, I enrolled in my first journalistic writing course, "Feature Writing." I was skeptical that I would even enjoy the class, especially since non-fiction, at the time, always seemed mundane and of little interest to the daydreaming imagineer I had become. Still, I found myself excited when my final project was a... Continue Reading →

Willow: “The 1st”

Album Score: 3.5/5 It is always refreshing to see the metamorphoses of young shit-pop stars into respectable artists. I certainly would never have guessed the young culprit behind the brackish "Whip My Hair" many years ago would have grown into an indie rocker. Yet, here we are with The 1st. Willow Smith (or simply "Willow")... Continue Reading →

News From the Grave: 10//11//17

I have finally neglected to neglect this site. For how long this remains a thing... who knows? (who knows) But I thought it best to update for archival purposes just what is happening down in the land below. I have risen with a new tale, the first chapter of which can be found on this... Continue Reading →

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